The Weakness of Faith

He said to them, "Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there, and it will move,' and nothing will be impossible for you."

Early on in our journey with Cadenne, I had a fellow believer tell me, "Don't let the doctors tell you what to do. Have faith and pray, and God will heal her."

I have only the faith I was given. Apparently, I was not given enough faith to move much of anything. My faith was not capable of healing Cadenne's CDH. It was not sufficient to move the organs that had pushed their way through the hole in her diaphragm and crush one of her lungs. My faith was not strong enough to supply the oxygen levels needed to keep her off ECMO.

Weak and flailing is my faith. It was only able to provide me with peace of mind, knowing that the fate of my baby was in the hands of God. My faith, feeble as it is, was able to magnify and glorify a God who is more likely to use vocation though providence to work all things to the good of those who love Him, than an instantaneous miraculous healing. It was my small faith that led me broken and poor to His body, the church. Through them, I felt the hands of God minister to my family. It was in this lacking faith that I found great joy in my suffering, wishing that I had been found more faithful so that I could suffer more for His glory.

My faith was unable to move mountains of sickness, poverty, or the broken heart of a desperate man unable to fix his baby and shield his wife from sorrow. My faith was only strong enough to throw myself upon His promises of His faithfulness.

Soli Deo Gloria! It was not my faith that is at work healing baby Cadenne, but the God that gave me my faith!

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Note: There is a "virtual cast" for you to sign if you are among those praying for Cadenne. Please leave a comment including your name and local here.

Cadenne Updates

To day there were four updates. Lots of good news.

Update Number One. Update Number Two. Update Number Three. Update Number Four

What I learned this week...

All the calamities of the world can't scale the walls of my indifference.
But the tears of my wife, wash the walls away like waves on a sandcastle.
The generosity of the body of Christ breaks the gates like a strong army.
I am left humbled, knowing I am not as strong nor hard as I thought.

I reserve the right to delete this at any time...read fast.

Cadenne Update Cross Posting

For more info and back story see the McDaris Family Blog.

It is with much thanksgiving and praise to the Lord that we write this update for you today. As you have seen, Cadenne is now ECMO-free! The doctors are all thrilled with her quick progress. As sick as she was when she arrived here at Children's, none of them thought she would be off this soon. We know that God is the Great Physician, and has had his healing hand on her from the beginning. It was so wonderful to see that massive cart being rolled away... AWAY from our baby! What a blessing!



Cadenne did extremely well with her first day off of ECMO. Her blood gases have been great, and her oxygen levels have also been good. She spent some of the day "riding the machine," which is basically her body letting the ventilator take over for her while she is asleep. Other parts of the day she was taking breaths in addition to what the machine was doing for her. Surgeons were watching her closely all day and have made the decision to go ahead with her repair surgery tomorrow. She is an add-on case, and has 4 other surgeries on the schedule before her, so she likely won't go in until late morning or early afternoon.

Initially, the surgeon we spoke to said they would try doing the surgery orthoscopically, where they make tiny incisions in discrete places and do the repair in a way that is minimally invasive, with the understanding that they may have to go in and do a larger incision if that didn't work. Later in the day, after the surgeons had a pow-wow, they decided that it was best for Cadenne just to do the bigger incision. It is a MUCH shorter surgery, and with the level of pulmonary hypertension that she had, they think it is likely that they'll end up with the bigger incision anyway. They believe the hole is quite large and that a patch will be needed. (rather than just stitching the diaphragm up.)

Please pray that the Lord would guide the surgeons' hands, that the hole is easier to repair than they think it will be, and that Cadenne will recover quickly. Since they're going with the larger incision, she is likely to be in a lot more pain. Please pray that her pain would be managed well. Lastly, pray for the function of her lungs... that the surgery will help them to inflate even more. She is still experiencing some pulmonary hypertension, so hopefully after the surgery, that will ease up a bit. And most importantly, pray that our God would be made famous through all of this, that it will be clear that He deserves our worship.

We know that Cadenne is in good hands. The surgeons are top notch. We are confident that this surgery--the third in nine days--will be good for her. We are by no means out of the woods yet, but this is the next big hurdle that needs to be jumped!

Earlier today the respiratory therapist was changing the tape around Cadenne's ventilator and told me to get the camera out so that I could get a picture of (almost) her whole face. I jumped at that chance! Isn't she pretty?

Pics of the New Baby

Here are pictures of my brand new baby.


This is her room. Yes, all the equipment is for her.


She has CDH and she is on an ECMO (heart/lung bypass).
There are only four hospitals in California that offer ECMO.


Pray. For more information click here. Soli Deo Gloria.

A Recent Prayer

My God and my Lord,
To You alone I pray
Because you alone created every thing

It was You that came down to save me
It was You that created a heart of life in this once dead man
It was You that gave me eyes that see and ears that hear

You saved me not from the consequences of my sins
You saved me from the consequence of my sin nature
You saved me from the consequence of Your righteous judgment

Lord please forgive me for seeking pleasures other than You
Lord please forgive me for my pride that boasts in things other than You
Lord please forgive me for the passions that fail to glorify You

You gave me all that I have
You gave me my wife and my children
You gave me the ring in my ear, Master

By Your grace alone I stand before You
By Your grace alone I stand as head of my house
By Your grace alone I stand in the gap

With Your outstretched arm You have crushed Your enemies
With Your outstretched arm You have terrified whole nations
With Your outstretched arm You have lead me with steadfast love

Into Your arms I place all I have
Into Your arms I place all I fear
Into Your arms I place all my trust

Amen