He said to them, "Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there, and it will move,' and nothing will be impossible for you."
Early on in our journey with Cadenne, I had a fellow believer tell me, "Don't let the doctors tell you what to do. Have faith and pray, and God will heal her."
I have only the faith I was given. Apparently, I was not given enough faith to move much of anything. My faith was not capable of healing Cadenne's CDH. It was not sufficient to move the organs that had pushed their way through the hole in her diaphragm and crush one of her lungs. My faith was not strong enough to supply the oxygen levels needed to keep her off ECMO.
Weak and flailing is my faith. It was only able to provide me with peace of mind, knowing that the fate of my baby was in the hands of God. My faith, feeble as it is, was able to magnify and glorify a God who is more likely to use vocation though providence to work all things to the good of those who love Him, than an instantaneous miraculous healing. It was my small faith that led me broken and poor to His body, the church. Through them, I felt the hands of God minister to my family. It was in this lacking faith that I found great joy in my suffering, wishing that I had been found more faithful so that I could suffer more for His glory.
My faith was unable to move mountains of sickness, poverty, or the broken heart of a desperate man unable to fix his baby and shield his wife from sorrow. My faith was only strong enough to throw myself upon His promises of His faithfulness.
Soli Deo Gloria! It was not my faith that is at work healing baby Cadenne, but the God that gave me my faith!
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Note: There is a "virtual cast" for you to sign if you are among those praying for Cadenne. Please leave a comment including your name and local here.
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3 comments:
Wow...i can see how much you mave learned as you have been going through the valley...My faith can not deliver me from my sin...your blog ministered to me alot. thanks brother. the "soli" part of the 5 Soli's. I still try to do it all myself.
Much love
Bryan
Brian,
I have spent some time today reading your blog. I am an aunt to little Ned Dellinger in Chapel Hill, NC. Your words have moved me a great deal and I want to say thank you. Thank you for your comforting and transparent voice! Your faith is evident and your walk is obviously step in step with God. May God continue to bless you, your wife and your sweet Cadenne!
Kim Beam <><
"My faith was only strong enough to throw myself upon His promises of His faithfulness."
I know that feeling, firsthand and frequently. Thanks for putting it into words so well. Praying for your family.
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