Sunday nights are generally when my wife and I meet with our small group. We normally talk about that day's sermon. We are presently in the middle of a series on gender, sort of along the lines of Restoring Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.
Near the end of last Sunday night's meeting, I brought up a survey that I read that says a lot of men see love and respect as synonymous terms. Most women, on the other hand, see these terms as very distinct from each other.
The discussion that followed seemed to reinforce that very idea. Early on, our group leader, Mr. Jones, said something to the effect of, "I don't think you can have love without respect." Later on he asked the question, "So is it possible to love someone you don't respect?" He did so in his usual manner, which is to say in an open and honest manner, lacking any tone of condescension or disapproval of the notion.
Immediately the lovely Mrs. Jones answered something to the effect of, "Yes, you can love someone without respecting them. You won't follow someone you don't respect, but you can still love them." Her response had no hint of trepidation or sarcasm. It was truly uninhibited, (yet) loving and respectful. Mr. Jones nodded an understanding nod.
This exchange was a beautiful example of a Husband moving beyond his own perspective and including the perspective of his Bride. This exchange gave me the impression that Mr. Jones has been loving his wife as Christ loves the Church. It was natural and flowing, giving the impression that this is the normal course of their conversations.
Mr. Jones' willingness to question his own paradigm in an effort to understand how others think and feel was inspirational to me. I hope to one day to be more like him.
This post was posted with the permission of Mr. Jones. Yes, that is his real name.
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1 comment:
Being willing to shift our paradigm is the sign that we truly love and respect another. Many times I don't have to shift it, just show my willingness to do so.
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